Too Tired To Fight
by Pedellea
Summary: Bosco wonders about Faith's actions in the aftermath of not getting backed up. Companion piece to How Far And How Long.


**TITLE**: Too Tired To Fight   
**AUTHOR**: Pedellea   
**E-MAIL**: pedellea@hotmail.com   
**DATE**: January 10, 2002   
**RATING**: PG   
**SUMMARY**: Bosco wonders about Faith's actions in the aftermath of not getting backed up. Companion piece to "How Far And How Long".   
**SPOILERS**: Sex, Lies & Videotape   
**DISCLAIMER**: Third Watch belongs to John Wells Production and Warner Brothers. "How You Remind Me" is Nickelback's. There you are. Short and sweet.   
**AUTHOR'S NOTES**:I just had to write a post-ep piece for SL&V because I loved the episode. It was so intense, it had me yelling at the TV screen every other second. So after watching it, I got all giddy and out came this and the companion piece, "How Far And How Long", which shows Faith's view of the events that occurred. 

The song snippet included here is "How You Remind Me" by Nickelback (Canadian!), which played in the episode "Childhood Memories". I thought the lyrics were fitting for what happened in "Sex, Lies & Videotape". Just to let you know I cut and paste the lyrics so if you want the lyrics in its entirety, search for it on the web. 

Well, enough explanations (as if you needed them... well, maybe). I hope you'll enjoy this piece, and please do send me feedback on it! 

* * *

It's not like you to say sorry   
I was waiting on a different story   
This time I'm mistaken   
For handing you a heart worth breaking   
And I've been wrong, I've been down   
To the bottom of every bottle   
These five words in my head   
Scream "are we having fun yet?"... 

And this is how you remind me   
Of what I really am   
This is how you remind me   
Of what I really am 

From "How You Remind Me" - Nickelback 

* * *

**TOO TIRED TO FIGHT   
By Pedellea**

How could you do this to me? How could you not tell me about your breast cancer? I thought I was your partner, even your friend. What happened to you, Faith? 

It used to be me you ran to every time you had a problem. Even the big problems, like Fred drinking, or your baby. What did I do that caused you to stop trusting me with your problems? 

I was scared to prod you further for why you didn't back me up when we were in that building. I thought maybe you were finally tired of me and my antics that you wanted to stop being my partner. Never in the world would I have guessed that it was pain from your cancer treatments that was hurting you so bad that it stopped you from backing me up. 

The backing up issue? I was ready to drop that in a wink. You were sick and I pushed you, and it didn't land me a stay in the hospital, or worse yet, kill me. But not telling me you had an illness that is grounds for you to not work? I am shocked by your silence. 

For once I have nothing else to say. What can I say? I was just too tired to fight this out with you in the station. Besides, the ache from the bruises and the drugs they pumped me with at the hospital was making me weary. What you've laid on me is too much to process right now. 

Or that's what I thought when I left the station. Now, sitting at home, I can't sleep. I keep replaying the scene in my head - I kept calling you when I was ready to confront the shooter, but you never came. I screamed your name as he bashed me with the door and tried to rip the gun from my hand. I called and I called, but you never came. He won the battle and shot me, and even as that happened, I wondered, why weren't you there to back me up? Why, Faith? 

It was because you were too much in pain yourself to tell me up front, that's why. Frankly, that's not good enough. I expected you to be behind me, but instead you were too nauseated to do anything. Why didn't you just tell me, Faith, about your cancer and your treatments? That's what I don't understand. I'm your partner, you know I'd back you up in anything and everything. You know for a fact I've done it before. So why doubt me now? 

I seriously don't know what to think anymore. All I can say to you right now is that I hope you will get better. After all, you've got two kids and a husband here on this earth that love you. And as a partner, I love you too. 

I wonder if you have any idea how much you've hurt me tonight. And I really wonder how you and I are going to react when we see each other next time, because I have no idea, no idea at all of what I might say and do. 

Faith, I thought we had a great partnership and friendship going. Can you please tell me what's going on with the two of us now? Because I'd sure like to know. 

**THE END**

* * *

I am quite intrigued to find out what will become of Bosco and Faith's relationship now that all the secrets are out. Just like Bosco, "I'd sure like to know." If it were Monday everyday... 

I hope you've enjoyed this piece. Please do read "How Far And How Long" if you haven't already. And please don't hesitate to gimme some feedback! I crave them, and I haven't been getting enough lately. ;o) 

Feedback is always apreciated!!! Please send it to pedellea@hotmail.com or post a review on the site. Thanks a bunch!   
Please visit my fanfic page: http://www.geocities.com/phunwuns/Fanfic/ 


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